The music in me....

What does music do to you? It moves me. Can you imagine a movie without the backdrop of song? Sometimes I wish our lives had musical undergirdings and I think mine does, but it plays in my own head. (Of course, I have more songs in my head than the average person. I've even been given the title of "The Original iPod".) I suppose it would be annoying if all of our songs were playing simultaneously. Maybe though they would only interact with those with whom you were presently engaged or at least those who you acknowledge as being in your general realm of influence. It would be like a dance, a give and take in partnership. Perhaps it would sound like an orchestra with each person playing their part on their unique musical instrument.....entering and exiting at just the right time, blending, harmonizing, swelling, then suddenly softer, pausing, then back in......

Most of the time we live in such disharmony with one another, that our songs sound more like an orchestra tuning up, each one playing their own little song in their own little corner as loud as they possibly can so they can hear themselves and drown out the distraction of others. Why do we live like that? Playing the symphony together is so much more powerful than the chaos and randomness of the individual tune-up. The symphony, concerto or whatever particular movement or piece has moments of complete togetherness where all play in unison, the same notes, the same way. There are also times where the parts compliment one another. Living in complete harmony with one another there are times when we should be showcasing the other person, encouraging them to play their solo and play it well.

Sadly, I am also struck by the thought that there are those who can no longer discern the song within them. The music has completely gone out of their lives. If our lives did have a soundtrack, what would we hear when they walked into the room, into our general realm of influence? Silence? Would we hear their song even if their ears and heart have turned deaf to it? Are we willing to stop tuning our own instrument in our own little corner long enough to sing their song back to them? to help them remember? to help them pick up their instrument and play it once again?

I can't imagine my life without music.....I can't imagine yours without it either. Don't forget your song! I need to hear it!

Weaving

Today I was at the mall. I actually went to pick up some boxes from a store I work at occasionally. When I was leaving with the boxes I noticed a purse in the parking lot a few spaces down from my car. It would have been an easy steal for someone. I went back into the store and looked through the purse to see if I could find some information about who it belonged to and hopefully a phone number to call.

There were several charge cards, receipts, pictures of a baby, driver's license, a check book, and a bunch of other stuff, but absolutely nothing with a phone number on it, not even the checkbook. Her car keys were also in there. It felt so strange.....invasive, to go through this person's purse. I did want to return it, however, and knew of no other way to find the information I needed. Finally, I wrote down some information from her insurance card. I thought I will call her agent's office, give them her name and they can look up her information. I left the purse at the store and the manager, my friend, Leeanna, called security and asked them to pick it up. I called the insurance office and asked them to call the lost purse lady and tell her that her purse had been found and was at the mall security office.

I thought about how easy it would have been for someone to walk away with this purse without a second thought and how easy it would have been for someone to steal her identity. I would never have considered taking it and wouldn't have the guts to use the charge cards. I have no clue how to steal an identity, nor would I want to. I think that is a good thing. I did think for about a half a second about the Starbuck's card, though. Fair reward, don't you think? I'm kidding!

So why me? Why did I find it instead of someone else? Was a prayer being answered on her behalf? I have no clue and will never know the end of the story. I do believe this, though, our lives are never ever isolated. God weaves them together in mysterious ways. Sometimes we see the workings of the web, but many times I believe we don't have any idea that it is happening or that we are a part of it. I love that about God.

Waxing and Waning

I was wondering if any one feels the ebb and flow of life like I do. Do you sometimes get really enthusiastic for something and then your enthusiasm just kind of slips away? In my experience it can happen slowly over time, but it can also happen within the scope of a few days, sometimes within a day. Do I get bored easily or do I simply run out of energy?

Okay, that's it! I just lost my excitement over this topic and don't want to blog about it anymore. Just kidding really. I'd actually like to dialogue about it with others for awhile. Am I unique in this or do you feel the same thing?

Paralysis or Proper Perspective?

I had a meeting this morning. When I got in my car to leave it wouldn't start......odd. It is only a year old, so I wouldn't expect the battery to be dead. I did, however, go to the basement and search for our battery charger, which I couldn't find. (My husband says it is on the shelf next to work bench, but I didn't see it.) When I went back to the garage I realized that my keys would not come out of the ignition. They would move in the direction of starting the car, but not move back, nor come out. I tried to adjust the wheel. It had movement, it wasn't jammed. I tried to adjust the gear shift. It wouldn't move with any amount of wiggling or pounding. (I didn't kick it, though I thought about it.) Still the car won't start. It most likely is unrelated to the battery. I suppose my car "thinks" it is in gear, not park, and it has no inclination to start in that position.

My car has a certain perspective in the moment. Sometimes my perspective is off, too. In the midst of my circumstances, I can be absolutely convinced that a certain thing is happening. I may be paralyzed by that view and unable to get started and move in any direction. My outlook is confined by so many human limitations. My vision becomes much clearer when my focus changes from my circumstance to One who knows right where I am and where He is taking me. I am reminded of these words, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." (Is 55:8)

I made it to the meeting. Someone came to get me and brought me home. My car still sits in the garage. I had some errands to run, or so I thought. I could be very frustrated with this circumstance, or I can rest in knowing, His perspective is much greater than mine, even for this day.

Stuff for Sale!

Today I have been going through stuff, literally. My daughter wants to have a garage sale this weekend, so I need to purge the closests, cabinets, and other storage areas. You know how it is. It is work, but acually feels great to clean out the things that I simply am not using any more. I am not a hoarder, but I am certainly no minimalist. I could probably benefit from lessons in mimimalism. Is there such a thing?

Actually, I'm being a little hard on myself. I'm not one of those who have let things pile up and pile up. Nearly every time a charity calls and asks for a donation, I come up with at least a little box or bag I can put out for them. So I go through the stuff fairly regularly. I'm sure my daughter wishes she could sell all those things I have put out over the last couple of years.

I don't like having garage sales. It is a whole lot of work for a little return. I told Melaina (just like the last garage sale we had) that I would help her by finding things to sell and by setting up for the sale, but that it was her responsibility to work the sale. I don't even care if she keeps most of the proceeds. I was going to set it out for the charity truck anyway. I'd just like to cover the ad (which by-the-way cost a pretty penny these days). I also don't like the whole bargaining thing. I don't appreciate it when people ask less than the ridiculously low price the item already is. Melaina is so much better at this than I am. She kind of enjoys it. When I go to other peoples garage sales, which I actually like to do, I never ask them for a different price. If I don't want to pay what they are offering, I don't need it. Question is though, do I need it at all? It is someone else's discarded stuff for crying out loud!

I think it is kind of funny that we buy things that we think we need, use them for awhile or a little and then put them out in the garage or driveway to sell to other people. There has been an occasion or two when I have actually sold something I never took the tags off of. That is simply pathetic! Why didn't I just take it back to the store? (Probably because I also do not like returning things. I make myself do it, though, in most instances, okay?)

I wonder if God wants to go through the stuff of my heart. What were all the "things" I bought that I thought I needed that have just settled themselves in my being. Some of them still have the tags on, I'm sure. I thought I wanted it, even needed it, but it wasn't quite right. Still it is there, with all the other stuff, just taking up room, crowding out any space for what is truly needful.

In Luke, chapter 11, Jesus along with his disciples go to the home of Martha and Mary. Martha is busy running around doing, who knows maybe she was trying to get ready for a garage sale when they happened along and interrupted her day. When they sat down to talk, Mary sits at the feet of Jesus and takes in all He has to say. Martha is frustrated with Mary and longs for her help. She approaches Jesus with her complaint. Jesus responds to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried about and upset about many things, but few are needed--or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken from her."

Having things is okay and selling them at a garage sale is okay, too. Letting stuff (whether tangible or not) take our time or crowd our hearts, though, is not what is better. Few things are needed --or indeed only one. May you sit at His feet, allowing Him to fill both mind and heart.

The Cat Nap

Most of you think of a cat nap as just a little snooze somewhere in your day. I am assuming it got it's name from the fact that cats sleep a lot, especially during the day. My cat nap is just a little different. You might remember from an earlier blog "Sleepless" that I love to nap. There is something extra special about napping on a Sunday afternoon, too. Somehow it refreshes me for the week ahead. Oh, but back to the cat nap......

My cat nap actually includes a cat, sometimes two. We have two cats at this house. Simon is the elder. He is silver tabby and white and has a very cute pink nose. He is mine. Nobu Naga is the younger, all black cat. He is mine, also. Well, theoretically he is Luke's. Luke picked him out after having to get rid of a cat that was given to him. (Kiku was a wild, crazy kitten who did not understand the concept of the litter pan. Poor Kiku, as cute as she was, had to go be an outdoor kitty.) Anyway, Luke chose Nobu, but I have paid for his every need, and I believe that Nobu thinks he is mine.

Now that the cats are introduced, back to the nap. Sometimes I let Simon nap with me, especially if I only want a short nap. He wants to be too close. He prefers to have his little head near mine, snuggled into my right shoulder. Sometimes he makes a little whimper sound when he sleeps and often he decides he needs to bathe in the middle of the nap and the licking begins. It is just too much for me and disturbs my sleep. Nobu on the other hand, is the perfect napping companion. He settles in quickly right up against my left hip. When I adjust, he adjusts. He sleeps for good long stretches before needing to bathe. He is in the perfect spot for my hand to rest on him. When I stir and give him a little pat, sometimes leaving my hand on him, he just purrs up a storm. The vibration and the sound is very comforting (especially when it is not right in my face, as Simon likes to do).

There is no "moral of the story" or spiritual analogy regarding this blog. I could probably come up with one if I thought long and hard enough. Nope, just wanted to share what a true cat nap experience really looks like. On this Sunday afternoon, I had a two cat nap. Yep, one on my right shoulder and one on my left hip.

Riders of the Storm

I follow hurricanes. I don't know why. When I hear a storm is brewing, I keep my eye on it. I read the articles, I look at the pictures, I watch the videos regarding it. They facinate me somehow. They are powerful beasts! They swirl across the waters, sometimes more organized than others, gaining, than losing power to gain again. Man can do absolutely nothing against such a monster, except possibly predict where the greatest impact may be as it roars onto shore.

Hurricane Ike ran into the state of Texas early this morning. Only a catagory 2, but nearly 600 miles in diameter. That is about the size of the state itself. He had already raged through Haiti, Cuba and the surrounding islands wrecking havoc. (See my blog "An Ocean Away".) I am amazed at the people who try to stay and ride it out, especially after receiving stern warning to evacuate. What do they think they could possibly do against such a great storm? Can they keep the surge that runs ahead of the hurricane at bay (pun intended)? Can they push back walls of water 20 feet or more high? Can they hush winds of 100 or more miles an hour that howl around them, ripping homes and buildings to shreds?

I believe in a sovereign God, One who is Lord over all. I believe that He is sovereign, yes, over nature. I believe that He could say one word and that Ike would stop in his spinning tracks. Yet, I wonder how many times I stand with my hands on my hips and refuse to budge in His presence. Do I think I can hold back surges and "walls" of water that come into my life? Do I think I can quiet storms that rage around me? Why do I sometimes refuse to evacuate? refuse to leave my stuff behind? hold on to things? cling to the past or the present?..... when I should be dropping it as fast as I can and running into the arms of the only One who can calm the storm or carry me through? Do you do the same thing?

Many will have nothing as they return to their neighborhoods. Lord, they have had no choice but to lay their "stuff" down. Be their Provider. Help them cling to You.