Natalee's Dance

Five years ago today my beautiful 20 year old niece Natalee went home to be with the Lord. The calendar days fell exactly the same way as this year. Thanksgiving day was on the 27th and Natalee died on Friday, the 28th. While every Thanksgiving will hold some grief as we remember, this year feels especially poignant. We miss her. We always will.

Today as we celebrated with my husband's family we had a special time of remembering Natalee. We told fun stories about her and we also shared how her death had affected us. We watched portions of the dvd compiled about her life. There was footage of her taken just a short month earlier. She was hanging out with college friends. They were in the dorm, goofing around together. Natalee was dancing, being completely silly, laughing, cutting up. It was completely Natalee! It was good to remember her in this way. I want to include something that she wrote herself as I close this blog today.

Natalee's Dance

So we dance together for a time....

the fellowship, the human touch-

Someday we will say we danced

So we dance together for a time....

Your eyes laugh, your mouth leaks a smile hiding not your heart.

My eyes cannot help but follow your lead, they laugh too, and...

So we danced together for a time...

the light-hearted dance of faith and joy,

the slow dance of pain and heart ache,

the difficult dance of questions and of doubt,

the exciting dance of truth and direction,

the strong dance of victory and defeat,

the humble dance of thanks and of grace,

and ever the childish dance of delight in the sand.

So we dance together for a time...

We dance the dance of laughter

We dance the dance of tears-

The lighthearted dance of laughter-

the spirit is free and the feet need no direction or rhythm

We dance the slow dance of tear and pain and.....

We will dance apart for a time...

You will dance this way and that way

and the Lord will direct your feet

I will dance that way and this way

and every now and then we will share a dance or two again.

But then, when it seems dancing is no more,

when we lose sight only to gain it-

We will dance forever for a time...

But forever has no time, so we will dance and dance and dance!

I Am Thankful

Thanksgiving Day.....

• I am thankful to spend the day with my family on the other side of the state.
• I am thankful that I got a long email from my son, Luke, who is in Japan.
• I am thankful that after spending most of the night in the emergency room, my daughter's pain subsided and we are moving toward finding the reason for the pain.
• I am thankful that I have a wonderful husband.
• I am thankful to have just had the opportunity to travel to Japan. (Who would have ever guessed?)
• I am thankful to work with some incredible people as we serve the Lord together.
• I am thankful that I have the most incredible friends!
• I am thankful for the creativity that God has given me.
• I am thankful for the gift of music.
• I am thankful for my two furry felines.
• I am thankful for the beauty of His creation.
• I am thankful for four great kids.
• I am thankful for good health.
• I am thankful for the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross and that God loves me beyond all measure.

Grateful

I have so many things to do today as we are heading out of town this afternoon, but I am compelled to write.......

On Sunday at church we focused on having a heart of gratitude. I have the privilege of working alongside the staff and helping to put the Sunday service together. This week's theme was, "It's Not Just a Holiday". Our hope was to encourage the congregation to be grateful in all things, to have a spirit of thanksgiving daily, not just once a year. We reminded them of God's faithfulness and trustworthiness and that He is worthy of our praise.

Last Friday I had the privilege and honor of singing in a funeral for a young man. He was only fourteen and most of his life he spent in a wheel chair as his body slowly deteriorated. What never faded on this young man was his smile. He blessed so many people in his short life. He radiated a heart of gratitude even if he couldn't form the words to express it.

I want to share with you the words of the song I sang. It is my prayer. I hope it becomes yours, too.

A Living Prayer

In this world I walk alone

With no place to call my home

But there's One who holds my hand

The rugged road through barren lands

The way is dark, the road is steep

But He's become my eyes to see

The strength to climb, my griefs to bear

The Savior lives inside me there

In Your love I find release

A haven from my unbelief

Take my life and let me be

A living prayer, my God to Thee

In these trials of life I find

Another voice inside my mind

He comforts me and bids me live

Inside the love the Father gives

In Your love I find release

A haven from my unbelief

Take my life and let me be

A living prayer, my God to Thee

Take my life and let me be

A living prayer, my God to Thee

By

Ron Block

No one ever said that this life would be easy. I am so grateful that I don't walk it alone. He is there always and He has given me you to walk beside me on this earthly journey. My heart is filled with gratitude!!!

"I thank my God every time I remember you.......And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ--to the glory and praise of God." Phil. 1: 3 & 9

Most Embarrassing Moment in Japan

I am reluctant to leave thoughts of Japan behind and yet as the days pass, the sharpness of the memories fade. It becomes easier to forget the details. I did keep a journal while we were there, so from time to time I still may post something about the trip. I didn't think you would want to miss this story though. It isn't one I will easily forget.

Japanese toilets are interesting. The traditional toilet looks like a trough you squat over. I didn't take a picture of a functioning one, but I've included one from a museum. Don't get excited about the pretty design. I believe this one came from a palace. All the ones I used were your basic white. For you men, that's the urinal on the left side. Isn't it pretty?

Sometimes the Japanese style toilet was the only choice and if you gotta go, you gotta go. I did have a moment of wondering what would happen if you had the stomach flu......yeah, not a pleasant thought, so let's move on. In some place you might have the option of choosing a European (or western) toilet. The thing that was intriguing to me is that so many times it would be this basic squat style or a western style that was completely over the top. All I really needed was the bowl and a way of flushing it. These were like little spas. Here is a picture of the options from one of our hotels. This particular one has a remote control for the options. Many had the controls on the side of the toilet itself or on the wall. Please understand these were not just in the hotels, but in many public places.

This one is the basic model, with a limit on the bells and whistles. I'm only slightly kidding about the bells and whistles, as many of the models actually have noises to choose from such as a babbling brook, music, and flushing sounds. This of course is to cover up your own bodily noises. Honestly, if I were standing, waiting outside of the door and I really had to go, I'd be very frustrated with a flushing sound that wasn't actually a flushing toilet. You know how it is, the closer you get to the bathroom, the worse you have to go. That is a mean trick to play on the bladder.

I'm getting to the best part of this story, hang with me. We are at a place called Oasis 21 in Nagoya. Above ground is an awesome structure that you can walk around and it has water with fountains, etc. There is no way to explain it, I'll include a picture.

It is a shopping mall underground which connects to the subway station. In the center there is a large stage and open area for concerts and events. We had dinner there at a sushi restaurant and then a little Baskin Robbins for dessert. It was green tea ice cream for me. Yum!

Before we head back to our hotel, I decide to visit the restroom. I take my turn and enter the stall. I'm already a little anxious as I see it is a luxury commode. Lots of bells and whistles.....but which button is the one for the real flush? I should have memorized the kanji for "flush". I finish up and take another desperate look around. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FLUSH THE TOILET!!! It wouldn't be polite not to flush, and besides there was a line, they would know it was me, the American. I feel like I am taking way too much time, so I just push a button. Ah, the stool flushes, but an alarm sounds simultaneously. I had just called in emergency back up!!!

There was nothing I could do but make an exit, knowing full well there was going to be an audience. I open the door to find the attendant, a small Japanese woman, in a panic on the other side. I took a bow. What else could I do?

Here is the irony. On this side of the world my bow would have signified that I had just completed a performance. Over there, my bow said, "I am sorry and humble before you." The truth, I was humble.....okay, I was embarrassed. We went to the same place later in the week. This time I got it....just wave your hand over a certain place on the wall...because that makes so much sense.

Prince of Peace

A few nights ago I met a friend for dinner. We had not had a face to face for months so we had a lot of catching up to do on each other's lives. It was great to be with her, laugh with her, and delve into some serious conversation. At the end of the evening our talk turned toward Christmas. She told me that her church was empasizing each week before Christmas the names for God/Jesus that we hear so often in the season....Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and the Prince of Peace.

She confessed to me that the Prince of Peace one gave her a little angst. She questioned what it really meant. This world seems anything but peaceful and for that matter our lives don't feel like they have that much tranquility in them. Read through some headlines, turn on the news, observe the people right around you and maybe even take a good look at yourself. Where is this peace exactly? We can agree quite readily that "peace" is illusive at best.

What is it that we say peace is? It has many definitions.
1. nonwarring condition of a nation, group of nations, or the world.

2. an agreement or treaty between warring or antagonistic nations, groups, etc., to end hostilities and abstain from further fighting or antagonism

3. a state of mutual harmony between people or groups, esp. in personal relations

4. the normal freedom from civil commotion and violence of a community; public order and security

5. cessation of or freedom from any strife or dissension.

6. freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.

7. a state of tranquillity or serenity

8. a state or condition conducive to, proceeding from, or characterized by tranquillity

9. silence; stillness

I find it intriguing that we have so many definitions for a concept of which we have so little.
Yet.........
You can be at peace.
You can make peace.
You can live in peace.
You can hold your peace.
You can keep your peace.
You can make your peace.

WHERE IS THIS PEACE? Let's go back for a minute to the Prince of Peace. If Jesus came to the world as the Prince of Peace where is it? May I suggest that He is it? He came to put an end to strife of all kinds and especially the war within each of us as we try and fail to deal with our own sin. Our world is troubled, but can you imagine the chaos, the destruction if He had not come? I am not always peaceful, but deep in my soul Peace resides. I know He is there, I feel His presence deep within and even sometimes all around me, this Prince of Peace.

John 14:27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

And in despair I bowed my head:

"There is no peace on earth," I said,

"For hate is strong and mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good will to men.

"Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:

"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,

With peace on earth, good will to men."

Excerpt from "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day"

So Very Close

My cat is sitting on my lap as I type. Every once in awhile he looks up at me or head butts my arm to remind me that he is still there. It is hard to forget he is there, but he doesn't know that. He wants to be sure. I stroke his soft fur and reassure him with my words.

Sometimes I think this is the way I am with God. I want to remind Him that I am down here, just in case He has forgotten. I want to be sure. Reality is that I am under the shadow of His wing, just like scripture tells me. He is that close to me. I can't see Him, but I believe that His word is true, so I believe that I am constantly in His presence. Sometimes, though, I look up, or I bump up against Him in some way or rattle around making some noise. Then there are the times I blatantly cry out, "Are you still there? Do you see me? Do you remember that I am here?"

Then He assures me of His presence. I experience Him through the beauty of His creation or the kind word of a friend or stranger. He touches my heart through the lyric of a song or a beautiful melody. As I read His Word it reaches to the deepest place of my soul and I know........He has not forgotten. He sees me and He holds me close...... so very close, next to His heart, in the crook of His arm, under His wing.

"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." Psalm 91:4

90 Degrees Right

Today I was leaving one meeting and on my way to meet a friend for coffee. I had a message into my piano teacher about a possible time for a lesson, so I thought I should check my email via my cell. Ah, yes, he had responded and suggested a time for later that afternoon. I began to leave a text as I was walking into the restaurant, explaining that I was on my way to a meeting and asking if I could call when I was finished. I was walking as I was texting and didn't quite complete the message when I spotted my friend. We gave each other a hug and then I said I just needed to quickly finish what I was writing. Message complete I dropped the phone into my pocket.

We began chatting when a text came through. I didn't look for a couple of minutes, but finally took a quick peek. The response was that I shouldn't text while with a friend and then said 90 degrees right. Now, my teacher (who is also my friend) has a clever way of always getting me to think about things. I thought his comment about 90 degrees right was just one of those puzzles I was suppose to figure out. I just laughed and dropped my phone in my purse. I'd think about it later. I wanted to concentrate on the friend in front of me.

She and I decided to go to the counter to order. Of course, I'm thinking all the while about the 90 degrees. Suddenly it hits me.......he is in here.....90 degrees right of where I was sitting when I received the text. I look around and catch his eye. He smiles. I smile. I wave. Then I go chat with him briefly.

He sort of got me, again. Beyond that, he got me to thinking. It is kind of unnerving to think that someone was watching you and you didn't know it, but isn't someone always watching us? Aren't we constantly on display to see how we will act, how we will respond? If I profess to be a follower of Christ, and I do, does my behavior reflect His character? Can those around me see the radiance of the Lord shining through me?

I'm going to hang on to the words "90 degrees right". It will remind me that Christ is always with me, that I reflect His glory and that the world is watching. (And perhaps a friend is, too.)

Navigating

When we go on a trip we enjoy becoming as familiar as possible with our destination. Before leaving for Japan we did some research on the country, the people, what to see, how to navigate, that sort of thing. We did some reading on our own but also asked for advice from those who had traveled there. Shortly before we left we met a young woman who is studying here, but is a native of Japan and actually went to Nanzan University, the same school Luke attends now. We had her over and she gave us her thoughts on what we should do as well.

We flew in to Narita in Tokyo. From there we had to find transportation to the Otemachi area near the Palace where our hotel was. We had JR Passes and decided to take the train. We navigated checking our passes in and getting reserved seats on the train. No problem. It felt so easy. We were hopeful. The train was an express and that part of the trip was smooth.

We got to the Tokyo train station, grabbed our bags and headed out. That's where the problems began. The station was so crowded as we had arrived just after work hours and everyone was headed home or to dinner somewhere. There was a sea of people all dressed in black and white or at least dark suits with white shirts. No way to be inconspicuous here. We pretty much stood out like we had a neon arrow pointing at us. "Hey! Over here! The foreigners have arrived!" Couple that with the fact that Dan is six foot seven....you know, he is just plain obvious. Okay it didn't help that we were going in circles from wicket to wicket, dragging our suitcases trying to find a way out.

No one told us about the wickets......that would have been a good thing to know. It seemed like everyone there had a card to scan on the wicket and then they could exit. We didn't have a card. We kept hoping that somewhere we would see a gate or a familiar way of exiting a building. Finally, we saw an attendant and tried to ask in a calm voice that wanted to scream, "How the heck do we get out of here?" We were tired, we had just flown half way around the world. Patience was thin and we longed for rest. In the end all we needed to do was show our rail passes and then go through the gate near the attendant to exit.

Ever feel like you are surrounded by some huge "thing" in your life? You might be in a sea of people, but you still feel isolated. You feel like your struggles are obvious, yet no one is stopping to help. You are wishing with all you have that someone along the way had told you how to navigate, how to find a way through and come out on the other side? Life is like that sometimes. But no matter where you are or what trial has you going in circles, longing for a way out, hoping for some rest, there is One who can help you find the way. And your pass? Just ask.

"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you." Psalm 55:22a

Help Along the Way

Before leaving for Japan I was told by some that the people might be shy and not attempt to talk to us or help us, especially the older Japanese. My own son, who lives there now, told me that they would not offer to help us. His take on it was that they did not like gaijin, or foreigners. We got a few stares here and there, but of course with a husband who is 6ft. 7in. tall, who wouldn't stare? He gets the same kind of looks stateside and hears comments about how tall he is. Occasionally someone would get up and move away from us on the subway as another seat became available.

We found though, that for the most part the people were very helpful AND the ones that were most friendly and helpful were the older ones. Even so a few young people also greeted us. I don't have the space to share every story here, but I will share a couple of significant ones.

We were on the train to Kamakura. We checked and double checked the route. Suddenly at one of the stops the conductor was standing in front of us asking a question in Japanese. My answer was Kamakura, even though I didn't really understand the question. In broken English, he says, "You have to get off." We are just looking at him and each other very confused with the question, "What?" just under our breath. He says again, "Get off, go to other platform, (to which he pointed) get on that train, (holds up two fingers) two stops". Apparently we needed to change trains. That had not shown up anywhere we checked the schedule.

Another day, in the town, Inyuama, we had asked for help to find the museum. The man at the information center told us which bus to take and how much it would cost. We headed out of the station to locate Bus No. 2. We are nearly to the bottom of a long flight of stairs when we hear footsteps running behind us. We turn to see the same man running after us. He had incorrectly told us to pay when getting on the bus and wanted to correct his error. We were to pay as we got off.

There are so many examples of this kind of hospitality, but I will only share one more now. Our trip was coming to a close. We were in the Nagoya train station. We'd purchased our tickets for the semi-express train to the airport, checking twice to see if we were headed to the correct platform. We were a little early and several trains came and went. Then a man from across the tracks calls out to us, asking if we are going to the airport. I confirm. He says, "You need to be over here for the express." We were so confused!!! Dan ran off to ask one more time. He was told for the third time that we were fine where we were waiting. We had 6 minutes until our train came. We still debated what to do. I looked and my husband and said, "Too many things have happened where we have been helped along our way. I want to believe that man across the tracks." Dan agreed, but now what do we do? Our time is short and we would have to go up a flight of stairs, figure out how to get to the correct platform and make our way down another set of stairs. Suddenly I come up with a crazy idea and ask Dan if he wants to go through the next train. The next train comes, both sides open, everyone disembarks and we rush through, hoping not to get slammed by the closing doors. Bear in mind we are each toting 2 suitcases and our carry-ons.

The man on the other side comes quickly and grabs one of my bags. He says, "We will go together." We chatted with him as we waited the last couple of minutes there. We laughed about going through the train, which he just shook his head and said, "Very dangerous!" Our train comes and the doors only open on one side this time.......the side we were on.

We were very thankful to all those who were willing to help these gaijin. They welcomed us to their country. We are also grateful to God, for putting these people on our path to help us along our journey. It is an incredible picture of what God does for us all along life's journey, isn't it?

It's Quotable

I heard a great quote today and wanted to share it.

"Control is a need for certainty and faith doesn't grow in certainty. The only thing that is certain is the character of God." William Young