Gotta quote it!

" A friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half-cracked." Author unknown

It's Quotable

If the will to walk is really present, God is pleased even with your stumbles.---C.S. Lewis

So Thin I Can Almost.......

Have you ever had an experience where God's presence is so real, He is almost tangible? In a moment you realize you are on sacred ground and feel that if you pushed your hand through a very thin, yet invisible curtain you might be able to touch Him? The Celtic people called this experience a "thin place." Dr. Beverly Rose says this about them. "Imagine a place between seashore and sea, earth and sky, here and now and heaven to come---a place where the veil between this life and the next is so thin you can almost touch the face of God."

In the thirty-third chapter of Exodus God shows himself to the nation of Israel as a pillar of cloud. Verses nine and ten say this, "As Moses went into the tent, the pillar of cloud would come down and stay at the entrance, while the Lord spoke with Moses. Whenever the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the entrance to the tent, they all stood and worshipped at the entrance of their tents." For the Israelites, this was a very thin place.

Later Moses asked God if he could have the benefit of knowing Him better, that he might adequately lead God's people. The Lord promises that His Presence will remain with Moses. Moses then asks for one step deeper into this relationship with his God. In verse eighteen Moses makes a bold statement, saying, "Now show me your glory." The Lord responds, proclaiming, " I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you and I will proclaim my name, the Lord, in your presence."...."But," he said, "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live." God then hides Moses in the cleft of the rock, covering him with His hand until He passes, allowing Moses to see only His back, but not His face.

Talk about a very thin place! It doesn't get much more thread-like than that, until.......

"Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord." (Luke 2:11)

"All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel" (which means "God with us"). Matt: 1:22-23

The veil is pushed aside, the thinness becomes transparent as we gaze into the face of God suddenly revealed in a newborn baby, Jesus, Immanuel.....God with us! Hallelujah!

He Came!

Today is Christmas! It is the day I have been anticipating for the last 364 days. It is worth celebrating......this birthday of the Savior. It may not be the exact anniversary of His coming, but the precise date is irrelevant to the acknowledgement of it.

Traditionally it is a day to get together with family and friends. The ways in which we observe the holiday are as boundless as the number of people who celebrate it. We may exchange gifts, share in a delicious meal, worship together, sing, play games, or sit around conversing with one another. People travel extensively in order to get "home" for Christmas. It is a season filled with joy!

Before you give up on my happy reflection on the commemoration of the day, please know that I understand it doesn't "feel" joyous to all. Sometimes life is extremely tough. People are lonely, jobless, in oppressive situations, broke, in poor health and the list goes on. The Christmas season can heap disappointment, despondency and even despair on a already dampened spirit. All the hustle, bustle, and the high expectations we put on ourselves and each other can affect even the cheeriest of persons. I personally love everything about Christmas, but I have to be careful myself not to succumb to what can become crazy activity rather than honoring the true reason of the day.

It is so easy to miss the point. So what is the point? It is the celebration of the fact that God came to earth. The first chapter of John says, "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." Later in John we are reminded that because of God's love for us, he sent his son. But if our lives are difficult, if we are suffering or if we find ourselves in the midst of a life we didn't exactly sign up for we begin to wonder if God cares at all and we miss the point.

Do you remember a time in your life when you were involved in something special, something you enjoyed or an acheievement you worked hard to attain? It may have been a sporting event, a concert, an art fair, a performance or some other venture. You look up, searching for that certain someone in the crowd. Perhaps you longed to see your dad, your mom, a good friend, that teacher who encouraged you along the way. Your expectation is great, but it is an honest need, the need to know they care. We all long for someone who will champion for us. When they don't come the disappointment hits like a slap in the face. You wonder.....do they not care about me? Are they disinterested? Am I not worth their time?

But....if you look up, see them walk in, take a seat, maybe catch your eye, give a nod of the head or a wave, there is one resounding voice inside you that cries, "They came!" No other words are needed. They are there for you and you know in that moment how much you mean to them.

So it is with God. In our pain, the earthly struggle, and in the midst of suffering we ask similar questions. Does he not know what I am going through? Is He indifferent? Doesn't He love me?

So on this Christmas night, even if the season has been a tough one, I want to remind you of one all important thing, the reason we celebrate and how He demonstrates His great love for you..............HE CAME.

Christmas Spirit

Whew! Can I just say it has been an exhausting couple of weeks?

Christmas is a wonderful time of year and I honestly love it! Just ask those who know me well. My house is filled with Christmas decor and I love every little piece of it. It's festive! It's fun! It's a bit frivolous, but that's okay. For some reason it makes me smile. Oh, but I'm getting sidetracked......Christmas is a wonderful time of year, but it is busier than much of the remainder of the calendar. My pace was good this year. I was moving along quite nicely, getting the decor in place, purchasing gifts, getting them wrapped, finding time for extras like concerts and a few parties, then I got sick.

I had no choice, but to put the brakes on for a couple of days and succumb to the virus....fever, sinus crude, headache, etc.....you are familiar with the scene. After the toughest couple of days I tried to slowly resume the duties. It was tough. I still didn't feel well, and quite frankly 9 days into this "thing" it is reluctant to let go.

Adding to a full schedule we headed out of town this weekend. We drove about an hour and stopped to help my husband's parents with a couple of things they needed done. Our destination, though, was to attend my daughter's college graduation. The commencement was late Saturday afternoon, but we went a day early because she had an honors ceremony bright and early in the morning. It was wonderful to share the occasion with her and two of her siblings. The whole family came back on Saturday evening to greet our youngest, who was arriving home from his study abroad in Japan. We stayed up late sharing in his adventures, taking a look at all his souvenirs and hearing him play his newly purchased instrument, the Japanese shamisen. I wanted to be in the midst of my family, laughing, talking, teasing.....but there was a part of me that was desperately longing for my bed and pillow. Weariness was consuming me.

Finally, I crawled into my big bed. It was a glorious feeling! Settling into the pillow, I told my husband that I wished the world didn't exist and that I could just lay in my bed all morning. I then corrected myself by saying. It isn't that I wish the world didn't exist, I just wish I didn't have to interface with it or anyone in it.

How's that for the Christmas spirit? I am not very proud of that statement, although it was extremely honest in the moment. I really hope it was fatigue and left over flu symptoms talking. What does it take to be fully engaged with those around me no matter how I am feeling? How do I exemplify the One who came from heaven to fully engage all of mankind, including me? That is the spirit of Christmas by which I desire to live, though I do so insufficiently.

What Could Be More Purr-fect?

"If there were a universal sound depicting peace,

I would surely vote for the purr."

--Barbara L. Diamond--

I don't know Barbara, but I agree with her. I suppose you have to be a cat owner (or very familiar with them) to understand. There is just something incredibly comforting and soothing in the deep vibration. When I hold one of my cats over my shoulder, I love to lay my head against their side and soak in their purr. When Nobu (one of my cats) naps beside me he lays right next to my hip, the perfect distance for my hand to rest on him and feel the low intoxicating rumble of his purr. It is extremely relaxing!
I thought maybe I was the only one who thought this and then I came across this quote from an article titled "The Remarkable Purr of a Cat" by Franny Syufy.

"Cats are often used as "therapy animals" in convalescent hospitals, or in retirement residences. It is an accepted fact that cat owners have lower blood pressure, especially in older people. The human-feline bond is never quite so close as when a person is holding and petting a purring, vibrating bundle of fur on her lap, and all is well with the world. You may even find yourself purring in response."

I don't know about purring myself, but the next time you need a little creature comfort and turn to whatever your vice or addiction might be, maybe you should just consider spending time with a feline.

It's Quotable

"Always choose character even when it leads you down a difficult, painful or hard road. The person who is constantly looking for the easy way out is not going to become all he or she has been created to be." ---Gary Smalley

Comfort and Joy

Good morning. It is Saturday. I got up early, not that I wanted to, but I couldn't sleep any longer. The truth is I could have slept a lot longer, I just couldn't breathe. I hate sleeping without breathing. It isn't restful. All of this fall I have been around so many sick people. I was pleased that I had not succumb to any of the illnesses.....until now. Last weekend my daughter was in town. She was sick for the second time within 2 or 3 weeks. Her parting words were, "Bye, Mom, don't get sick." Of course I said, "I won't!" I did......I am.

It is that time of year when there are so many extras to do. I still have to buy some gifts. Most of the gifts are purchased and a few are wrapped, the decor is in place, Christmas music is wafting through the house. Yet, I haven't written a single card, some on my list I have simply no idea what to get for them, we have a graduation the weekend before Christmas, holiday parties, so much to do....and here I am sitting, writing......

It is all I have the energy for in the moment. I have a cup of echinacea wellness tea next to me, sweetened with just a touch of honey. It probably won't make me well, but it is soothing, comforting.

"O, tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy......" In the moment I have a little comfort in a cup. I am not happy about my present condition, but I will still look for the joy. Maybe He is calling me to simply rest. I can find great joy in that alone!

No Comparison!!!!

When we were in Japan we watched as the people there would

climb up the hill to see and pray to the great Buddha.

They had to go to the statue to speak to "god".

My God came down to me in the form of a baby,

Emmanuel, God with us.

He came down for you, too! May you know his great love for you!

Birthdays....

When I was a child I had a tendency to become sad the night before my birthday. I know, most children are happy, excited, even giddy as their birthday approaches. I never claimed to be like "most". I vividly remember the night before my 8th birthday. I was crying, nearly sobbing. Someone came into my room and asked me what was wrong. (The "Someone" tells you that part of the memory isn't all that vivid. I can't remember who it was, but I believe it was my mom or sister.)

My repsonse is very clear, though. I told them that I loved being seven and that I didn't want to leave that age. I had no desire to become the grand age of eight. This makes perfect sense to me. If we love where we are, why would we want to ever leave? Like that birthday eve, however, time does pass and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. I turned 8 and 9 and 10......
Life does call us to leave things we love and sometimes the things (or ones) we love leave us.

Today is my birthday. Last night I had no desire to turn one year older. I didn't cry about it, just in case you are wondering. Time passes even faster than it did at 7 and before I know it I will be looking at the calendar on December 7, 2009, another birthday's eve. The truth is I don't really know that. I don't know what tomorrow holds. I have been given this day. I must choose how I will live it. If I love where I am, I must love it fully, for it is fleeting. If I do not love where I am, I can choose to make it better. Happy Birthday to me!

The Path is Good

Ever pick up your journal and open to some random page to see where you've been? or maybe how far you have come? Sometimes you can see how a prayer is answered. You might find your self in the same, familiar situation, but looking back you realize that you are viewing it with a new perspective.

I opened mine today to Nov. 15, 2006. While I wouldn't share every page of my journal with you, I'll let you in on my life for that moment in time. This is what it says:

"Last week I was struggling with melancholy (again). I do not like the way it feels. I long to be joyful, contagiously so at all times, yet......

I asked for others to pray for me in the struggle. On one hand, I wanted relief, but through the struggle, I realize that what I really want is for it to serve some purpose in the Kingdom of God.
Is it to drive me into His arms? Is it to burden my heart to intercede on behalf of others? Is it to move me to act on their behalf? Is there something else in it that I have not discovered? I feel God is refining me, constantly moving me in baby steps toward the person He has designed me to become."

My present state is not one of melancholy, but I am keenly aware of what it feels like. I'm not sure if I have all the answers to the questions I asked myself that day, but my stride has increased. Whatever my mood I have been learning to see God more clearly in all areas of my life. Instead of reacting to circumstances I am responding to Him in the situation. I don't do this perfectly and I'm still being refined, but the path I'm walking is very good.

Becoming Better

A few years ago I decided to take piano lessons. I can read music and I have played at the piano since I was young, but I was self-taught and I had much to learn. My initial goal was to learn chords, how to play from them, to be better at timing and to get a feel for playing different genres of music. I also felt that learning all these things would hopefully improve my songwriting. Initially I had not wanted to play classical pieces. I enjoy classical music, but honestly didn't believe I had the ability or the time to learn them. They seemed so complicated.

I have learned all these things and so much more, including the classical stuff. It is hard to know where I am on the continuum of my own ability, but I do know I have come a long way. Yet, each little part I finally grasp in my head or trust my ears for and get to come out my fingers reminds me of the countless other steps I need to take.

I asked my instructor the other day what a daily practice schedule would look like to be better in a reasonable amount of time. This began a discussion of what "better" and "reasonable" mean. I told him I want to be good yesterday. I'm serious, though, what does it really take? And this question leads to more questions....what am I doing this for? to what end? at this stage of my life? am I longing to be a better pianist simply for the sake of being better, or because maybe I really can?

The funny thing about all of this is that it isn't something I actually pictured myself doing "someday", you know? Yet, here I am, compelled beyond all reason to do it and to do it well. So what will it take?

"Be determined as you must in order to reach your goals----take charge with a can do attitude---but let it be known that there is always room for improvisation."

"Don't look back to find out where you are going. The answer is in front of you...Be a precursor of who you will become later." (both quotes from The Art of Growing Up)

Natalee's Dance

Five years ago today my beautiful 20 year old niece Natalee went home to be with the Lord. The calendar days fell exactly the same way as this year. Thanksgiving day was on the 27th and Natalee died on Friday, the 28th. While every Thanksgiving will hold some grief as we remember, this year feels especially poignant. We miss her. We always will.

Today as we celebrated with my husband's family we had a special time of remembering Natalee. We told fun stories about her and we also shared how her death had affected us. We watched portions of the dvd compiled about her life. There was footage of her taken just a short month earlier. She was hanging out with college friends. They were in the dorm, goofing around together. Natalee was dancing, being completely silly, laughing, cutting up. It was completely Natalee! It was good to remember her in this way. I want to include something that she wrote herself as I close this blog today.

Natalee's Dance

So we dance together for a time....

the fellowship, the human touch-

Someday we will say we danced

So we dance together for a time....

Your eyes laugh, your mouth leaks a smile hiding not your heart.

My eyes cannot help but follow your lead, they laugh too, and...

So we danced together for a time...

the light-hearted dance of faith and joy,

the slow dance of pain and heart ache,

the difficult dance of questions and of doubt,

the exciting dance of truth and direction,

the strong dance of victory and defeat,

the humble dance of thanks and of grace,

and ever the childish dance of delight in the sand.

So we dance together for a time...

We dance the dance of laughter

We dance the dance of tears-

The lighthearted dance of laughter-

the spirit is free and the feet need no direction or rhythm

We dance the slow dance of tear and pain and.....

We will dance apart for a time...

You will dance this way and that way

and the Lord will direct your feet

I will dance that way and this way

and every now and then we will share a dance or two again.

But then, when it seems dancing is no more,

when we lose sight only to gain it-

We will dance forever for a time...

But forever has no time, so we will dance and dance and dance!

I Am Thankful

Thanksgiving Day.....

• I am thankful to spend the day with my family on the other side of the state.
• I am thankful that I got a long email from my son, Luke, who is in Japan.
• I am thankful that after spending most of the night in the emergency room, my daughter's pain subsided and we are moving toward finding the reason for the pain.
• I am thankful that I have a wonderful husband.
• I am thankful to have just had the opportunity to travel to Japan. (Who would have ever guessed?)
• I am thankful to work with some incredible people as we serve the Lord together.
• I am thankful that I have the most incredible friends!
• I am thankful for the creativity that God has given me.
• I am thankful for the gift of music.
• I am thankful for my two furry felines.
• I am thankful for the beauty of His creation.
• I am thankful for four great kids.
• I am thankful for good health.
• I am thankful for the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross and that God loves me beyond all measure.

Grateful

I have so many things to do today as we are heading out of town this afternoon, but I am compelled to write.......

On Sunday at church we focused on having a heart of gratitude. I have the privilege of working alongside the staff and helping to put the Sunday service together. This week's theme was, "It's Not Just a Holiday". Our hope was to encourage the congregation to be grateful in all things, to have a spirit of thanksgiving daily, not just once a year. We reminded them of God's faithfulness and trustworthiness and that He is worthy of our praise.

Last Friday I had the privilege and honor of singing in a funeral for a young man. He was only fourteen and most of his life he spent in a wheel chair as his body slowly deteriorated. What never faded on this young man was his smile. He blessed so many people in his short life. He radiated a heart of gratitude even if he couldn't form the words to express it.

I want to share with you the words of the song I sang. It is my prayer. I hope it becomes yours, too.

A Living Prayer

In this world I walk alone

With no place to call my home

But there's One who holds my hand

The rugged road through barren lands

The way is dark, the road is steep

But He's become my eyes to see

The strength to climb, my griefs to bear

The Savior lives inside me there

In Your love I find release

A haven from my unbelief

Take my life and let me be

A living prayer, my God to Thee

In these trials of life I find

Another voice inside my mind

He comforts me and bids me live

Inside the love the Father gives

In Your love I find release

A haven from my unbelief

Take my life and let me be

A living prayer, my God to Thee

Take my life and let me be

A living prayer, my God to Thee

By

Ron Block

No one ever said that this life would be easy. I am so grateful that I don't walk it alone. He is there always and He has given me you to walk beside me on this earthly journey. My heart is filled with gratitude!!!

"I thank my God every time I remember you.......And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ--to the glory and praise of God." Phil. 1: 3 & 9

Most Embarrassing Moment in Japan

I am reluctant to leave thoughts of Japan behind and yet as the days pass, the sharpness of the memories fade. It becomes easier to forget the details. I did keep a journal while we were there, so from time to time I still may post something about the trip. I didn't think you would want to miss this story though. It isn't one I will easily forget.

Japanese toilets are interesting. The traditional toilet looks like a trough you squat over. I didn't take a picture of a functioning one, but I've included one from a museum. Don't get excited about the pretty design. I believe this one came from a palace. All the ones I used were your basic white. For you men, that's the urinal on the left side. Isn't it pretty?

Sometimes the Japanese style toilet was the only choice and if you gotta go, you gotta go. I did have a moment of wondering what would happen if you had the stomach flu......yeah, not a pleasant thought, so let's move on. In some place you might have the option of choosing a European (or western) toilet. The thing that was intriguing to me is that so many times it would be this basic squat style or a western style that was completely over the top. All I really needed was the bowl and a way of flushing it. These were like little spas. Here is a picture of the options from one of our hotels. This particular one has a remote control for the options. Many had the controls on the side of the toilet itself or on the wall. Please understand these were not just in the hotels, but in many public places.

This one is the basic model, with a limit on the bells and whistles. I'm only slightly kidding about the bells and whistles, as many of the models actually have noises to choose from such as a babbling brook, music, and flushing sounds. This of course is to cover up your own bodily noises. Honestly, if I were standing, waiting outside of the door and I really had to go, I'd be very frustrated with a flushing sound that wasn't actually a flushing toilet. You know how it is, the closer you get to the bathroom, the worse you have to go. That is a mean trick to play on the bladder.

I'm getting to the best part of this story, hang with me. We are at a place called Oasis 21 in Nagoya. Above ground is an awesome structure that you can walk around and it has water with fountains, etc. There is no way to explain it, I'll include a picture.

It is a shopping mall underground which connects to the subway station. In the center there is a large stage and open area for concerts and events. We had dinner there at a sushi restaurant and then a little Baskin Robbins for dessert. It was green tea ice cream for me. Yum!

Before we head back to our hotel, I decide to visit the restroom. I take my turn and enter the stall. I'm already a little anxious as I see it is a luxury commode. Lots of bells and whistles.....but which button is the one for the real flush? I should have memorized the kanji for "flush". I finish up and take another desperate look around. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FLUSH THE TOILET!!! It wouldn't be polite not to flush, and besides there was a line, they would know it was me, the American. I feel like I am taking way too much time, so I just push a button. Ah, the stool flushes, but an alarm sounds simultaneously. I had just called in emergency back up!!!

There was nothing I could do but make an exit, knowing full well there was going to be an audience. I open the door to find the attendant, a small Japanese woman, in a panic on the other side. I took a bow. What else could I do?

Here is the irony. On this side of the world my bow would have signified that I had just completed a performance. Over there, my bow said, "I am sorry and humble before you." The truth, I was humble.....okay, I was embarrassed. We went to the same place later in the week. This time I got it....just wave your hand over a certain place on the wall...because that makes so much sense.

Prince of Peace

A few nights ago I met a friend for dinner. We had not had a face to face for months so we had a lot of catching up to do on each other's lives. It was great to be with her, laugh with her, and delve into some serious conversation. At the end of the evening our talk turned toward Christmas. She told me that her church was empasizing each week before Christmas the names for God/Jesus that we hear so often in the season....Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and the Prince of Peace.

She confessed to me that the Prince of Peace one gave her a little angst. She questioned what it really meant. This world seems anything but peaceful and for that matter our lives don't feel like they have that much tranquility in them. Read through some headlines, turn on the news, observe the people right around you and maybe even take a good look at yourself. Where is this peace exactly? We can agree quite readily that "peace" is illusive at best.

What is it that we say peace is? It has many definitions.
1. nonwarring condition of a nation, group of nations, or the world.

2. an agreement or treaty between warring or antagonistic nations, groups, etc., to end hostilities and abstain from further fighting or antagonism

3. a state of mutual harmony between people or groups, esp. in personal relations

4. the normal freedom from civil commotion and violence of a community; public order and security

5. cessation of or freedom from any strife or dissension.

6. freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.

7. a state of tranquillity or serenity

8. a state or condition conducive to, proceeding from, or characterized by tranquillity

9. silence; stillness

I find it intriguing that we have so many definitions for a concept of which we have so little.
Yet.........
You can be at peace.
You can make peace.
You can live in peace.
You can hold your peace.
You can keep your peace.
You can make your peace.

WHERE IS THIS PEACE? Let's go back for a minute to the Prince of Peace. If Jesus came to the world as the Prince of Peace where is it? May I suggest that He is it? He came to put an end to strife of all kinds and especially the war within each of us as we try and fail to deal with our own sin. Our world is troubled, but can you imagine the chaos, the destruction if He had not come? I am not always peaceful, but deep in my soul Peace resides. I know He is there, I feel His presence deep within and even sometimes all around me, this Prince of Peace.

John 14:27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

And in despair I bowed my head:

"There is no peace on earth," I said,

"For hate is strong and mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good will to men.

"Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:

"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,

With peace on earth, good will to men."

Excerpt from "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day"

So Very Close

My cat is sitting on my lap as I type. Every once in awhile he looks up at me or head butts my arm to remind me that he is still there. It is hard to forget he is there, but he doesn't know that. He wants to be sure. I stroke his soft fur and reassure him with my words.

Sometimes I think this is the way I am with God. I want to remind Him that I am down here, just in case He has forgotten. I want to be sure. Reality is that I am under the shadow of His wing, just like scripture tells me. He is that close to me. I can't see Him, but I believe that His word is true, so I believe that I am constantly in His presence. Sometimes, though, I look up, or I bump up against Him in some way or rattle around making some noise. Then there are the times I blatantly cry out, "Are you still there? Do you see me? Do you remember that I am here?"

Then He assures me of His presence. I experience Him through the beauty of His creation or the kind word of a friend or stranger. He touches my heart through the lyric of a song or a beautiful melody. As I read His Word it reaches to the deepest place of my soul and I know........He has not forgotten. He sees me and He holds me close...... so very close, next to His heart, in the crook of His arm, under His wing.

"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." Psalm 91:4

90 Degrees Right

Today I was leaving one meeting and on my way to meet a friend for coffee. I had a message into my piano teacher about a possible time for a lesson, so I thought I should check my email via my cell. Ah, yes, he had responded and suggested a time for later that afternoon. I began to leave a text as I was walking into the restaurant, explaining that I was on my way to a meeting and asking if I could call when I was finished. I was walking as I was texting and didn't quite complete the message when I spotted my friend. We gave each other a hug and then I said I just needed to quickly finish what I was writing. Message complete I dropped the phone into my pocket.

We began chatting when a text came through. I didn't look for a couple of minutes, but finally took a quick peek. The response was that I shouldn't text while with a friend and then said 90 degrees right. Now, my teacher (who is also my friend) has a clever way of always getting me to think about things. I thought his comment about 90 degrees right was just one of those puzzles I was suppose to figure out. I just laughed and dropped my phone in my purse. I'd think about it later. I wanted to concentrate on the friend in front of me.

She and I decided to go to the counter to order. Of course, I'm thinking all the while about the 90 degrees. Suddenly it hits me.......he is in here.....90 degrees right of where I was sitting when I received the text. I look around and catch his eye. He smiles. I smile. I wave. Then I go chat with him briefly.

He sort of got me, again. Beyond that, he got me to thinking. It is kind of unnerving to think that someone was watching you and you didn't know it, but isn't someone always watching us? Aren't we constantly on display to see how we will act, how we will respond? If I profess to be a follower of Christ, and I do, does my behavior reflect His character? Can those around me see the radiance of the Lord shining through me?

I'm going to hang on to the words "90 degrees right". It will remind me that Christ is always with me, that I reflect His glory and that the world is watching. (And perhaps a friend is, too.)

Navigating

When we go on a trip we enjoy becoming as familiar as possible with our destination. Before leaving for Japan we did some research on the country, the people, what to see, how to navigate, that sort of thing. We did some reading on our own but also asked for advice from those who had traveled there. Shortly before we left we met a young woman who is studying here, but is a native of Japan and actually went to Nanzan University, the same school Luke attends now. We had her over and she gave us her thoughts on what we should do as well.

We flew in to Narita in Tokyo. From there we had to find transportation to the Otemachi area near the Palace where our hotel was. We had JR Passes and decided to take the train. We navigated checking our passes in and getting reserved seats on the train. No problem. It felt so easy. We were hopeful. The train was an express and that part of the trip was smooth.

We got to the Tokyo train station, grabbed our bags and headed out. That's where the problems began. The station was so crowded as we had arrived just after work hours and everyone was headed home or to dinner somewhere. There was a sea of people all dressed in black and white or at least dark suits with white shirts. No way to be inconspicuous here. We pretty much stood out like we had a neon arrow pointing at us. "Hey! Over here! The foreigners have arrived!" Couple that with the fact that Dan is six foot seven....you know, he is just plain obvious. Okay it didn't help that we were going in circles from wicket to wicket, dragging our suitcases trying to find a way out.

No one told us about the wickets......that would have been a good thing to know. It seemed like everyone there had a card to scan on the wicket and then they could exit. We didn't have a card. We kept hoping that somewhere we would see a gate or a familiar way of exiting a building. Finally, we saw an attendant and tried to ask in a calm voice that wanted to scream, "How the heck do we get out of here?" We were tired, we had just flown half way around the world. Patience was thin and we longed for rest. In the end all we needed to do was show our rail passes and then go through the gate near the attendant to exit.

Ever feel like you are surrounded by some huge "thing" in your life? You might be in a sea of people, but you still feel isolated. You feel like your struggles are obvious, yet no one is stopping to help. You are wishing with all you have that someone along the way had told you how to navigate, how to find a way through and come out on the other side? Life is like that sometimes. But no matter where you are or what trial has you going in circles, longing for a way out, hoping for some rest, there is One who can help you find the way. And your pass? Just ask.

"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you." Psalm 55:22a

Help Along the Way

Before leaving for Japan I was told by some that the people might be shy and not attempt to talk to us or help us, especially the older Japanese. My own son, who lives there now, told me that they would not offer to help us. His take on it was that they did not like gaijin, or foreigners. We got a few stares here and there, but of course with a husband who is 6ft. 7in. tall, who wouldn't stare? He gets the same kind of looks stateside and hears comments about how tall he is. Occasionally someone would get up and move away from us on the subway as another seat became available.

We found though, that for the most part the people were very helpful AND the ones that were most friendly and helpful were the older ones. Even so a few young people also greeted us. I don't have the space to share every story here, but I will share a couple of significant ones.

We were on the train to Kamakura. We checked and double checked the route. Suddenly at one of the stops the conductor was standing in front of us asking a question in Japanese. My answer was Kamakura, even though I didn't really understand the question. In broken English, he says, "You have to get off." We are just looking at him and each other very confused with the question, "What?" just under our breath. He says again, "Get off, go to other platform, (to which he pointed) get on that train, (holds up two fingers) two stops". Apparently we needed to change trains. That had not shown up anywhere we checked the schedule.

Another day, in the town, Inyuama, we had asked for help to find the museum. The man at the information center told us which bus to take and how much it would cost. We headed out of the station to locate Bus No. 2. We are nearly to the bottom of a long flight of stairs when we hear footsteps running behind us. We turn to see the same man running after us. He had incorrectly told us to pay when getting on the bus and wanted to correct his error. We were to pay as we got off.

There are so many examples of this kind of hospitality, but I will only share one more now. Our trip was coming to a close. We were in the Nagoya train station. We'd purchased our tickets for the semi-express train to the airport, checking twice to see if we were headed to the correct platform. We were a little early and several trains came and went. Then a man from across the tracks calls out to us, asking if we are going to the airport. I confirm. He says, "You need to be over here for the express." We were so confused!!! Dan ran off to ask one more time. He was told for the third time that we were fine where we were waiting. We had 6 minutes until our train came. We still debated what to do. I looked and my husband and said, "Too many things have happened where we have been helped along our way. I want to believe that man across the tracks." Dan agreed, but now what do we do? Our time is short and we would have to go up a flight of stairs, figure out how to get to the correct platform and make our way down another set of stairs. Suddenly I come up with a crazy idea and ask Dan if he wants to go through the next train. The next train comes, both sides open, everyone disembarks and we rush through, hoping not to get slammed by the closing doors. Bear in mind we are each toting 2 suitcases and our carry-ons.

The man on the other side comes quickly and grabs one of my bags. He says, "We will go together." We chatted with him as we waited the last couple of minutes there. We laughed about going through the train, which he just shook his head and said, "Very dangerous!" Our train comes and the doors only open on one side this time.......the side we were on.

We were very thankful to all those who were willing to help these gaijin. They welcomed us to their country. We are also grateful to God, for putting these people on our path to help us along our journey. It is an incredible picture of what God does for us all along life's journey, isn't it?

It's Quotable

I heard a great quote today and wanted to share it.

"Control is a need for certainty and faith doesn't grow in certainty. The only thing that is certain is the character of God." William Young

What are we celebrating?

While in Japan I noticed that they too decorated for Halloween. It surprised me a little. I wondered....did they know what the day was all about or did they just borrow the fall holiday and it's decor?

I have never been fond of Halloween. There is something about it that disturbs my spirit. As a child I dressed up and participated in trick or treating. Dressing up was fun, but I was always a bit afraid if not downright frightened as we made our way out into the night. AND every year, I would throw up when we returned home. I suppose it was the combination of fear and lots of candy. Who knows? I've observed children now. A lot of them are scared, too, as they make their way into the dark night with it's ghouls and ghost. They do it, though, cause us moms and dads encourage them to and think they are so cute in their costumes. The scariest thing is most kids will do just about anything for candy.

Like the Japanese, I wonder if most of us know the origins of Halloween or why we celebrate it, or why next to Christmas it is the biggest money maker for the retail business. I know we have over commercialized the celebration of Christmas, and that is not a good thing. Still, I find it so ironic that one holiday is about the giving of life and light and the other celebrates death and darkness, yet one is nearly as prominent as the other.

I encourage you to at least find out what the origins of Halloween are and then you can make an educated choice of whether or not you choose to participate in it and why.

http://www.loc.gov/folklife/halloween.html

What Not to Wear

I was told that the Japanese are a shy people. I'm curious about that because in some ways they didn't seem shy at all, particulary in their dress. For the business day, it was pretty much black and white or at least other dark colors like navy blue or gray, but outside of the workplace they are very creative in the way they dress and it expresses some boldness I think. I was talking to my son, Luke, while we were there about this. I told him that I wondered how long it actually took them to put their outfits together everyday. It was like artwork, and some may have trying to design a masterpiece. Now, I know that most of you guys don't call your clothes "outfits", but from what I saw in Japan, I'm not sure you could describe them any other way. They were very creative. Occasionally, I would actually see someone dressed in an attire that we might call a Halloween costume. It was everyday garb for them.

I also noticed that a lot of the young men had a very feminine look to them. Sometimes when you saw a couple you had to look close to see if it indeed was a couple or just two girlfriends linked arm in arm. Their clothes were fine for them, their choice really, but I couldn't help but giggle when I begin to picture some of my guy friends here dressed like the young Japanese men.

And still a touch of tradition........

Maybe Flying IS for the Birds

Flying just isn't all that fun anymore....it's frustrating at best. I do not like the airport check-in process in the very least. It is stressful and since 911, there are so many new rules. You practically have to undress to go through security. Your shoes have to come off, then the sweater, the belt....everything having to go into bins and go through separately. It always seems like I travel during warm weather and that I am not wearing socks. When I have to take my shoes off, I am then standing where countless people have stood, perhaps barefoot as well. It's gross really, you just don't know where their feet have been. (I'll really try to remember to throw some socks in my carry-on next time.)

On our recent trip to Japan I watched a family ahead of us check in with a little girl about age four. Her shoes had to come off, too. I wondered how intimidating the process was for her. A man in front of her set off the alarm and was asked to step aside for a closer examination. Did she worry that it might happen to her? I worried that it might happen to me!! There is a feeling now that you might break the rules without knowing what they are.

Anything liquid has to be 3 oz. or smaller and it all has to be put into a quart size ziplock bag and yes, put in a bin and put separately through the xray machine. I have an underlying tension now that I will be guilty of some small infraction and I will either be pulled aside and interrogated or zapped by the machine as I walk through. So now when I fly, I'm tense, I'm frustrated and honestly I'm a little angry. I get mad at the terrorists, the airlines and myself for being so ridiculous about the situation.

Last summer we were coming home from a trip to Seattle with some great friends. We had attended the Lavendar Festival and I had purchased a gift for my daughter, some wonderful lavendar foot scrub. (Every young woman needs that!) I put all the gifts together in my carry-on. It made sense to me, but I broke the rule. The foot scrub was larger than 3 oz. and not in a plastic ziplock bag. So...they confiscated it! Can you believe it? Now I no longer had a gift for my daughter. I hope the security lady enjoyed the scrub. I picture them at the end of each day dividing up the goods they collected all day from innocent travelers.

On another return trip the security gal dumped the contents of my purse out on a table and sorted it correctly. Now, I know everyone uses them, but there were all my feminine products along with my lipstick, lotion eye drops, etc. It was embarrassing! At least she didn't keep any of them!

Now we have to deal with the whole baggage weight thing. You get charged for extra poundage. Yes, I have also sat at an airport redistributing the articles in my suitcases trying to make them the proper weight. This was the same stuff I left home with. I'm not sure how it suddenly weighed more than when I checked in at my own city's airport, where not a word was said about it being too heavy. Did I forget to mention the time I had to get an extra box to take some weight out of the suitcase and then check that in too?

Since then they have begun to charge for any luggage at all. Aren't the tickets high enough? Do the airlines really think people are going to travel without clothes? Of course they don't, so what else are travelers going to do? They are going to pay for the suitcase.

Almost makes me want to stay home.....flying just isn't all that enjoyable these days, unless of course, you are a bird.

Let's Not Waste It

On Saturday I attended a Memorial Service for a woman who had finally lost the battle with cancer. The service was beautiful and honored her and the Lord. Angie discovered a lump on her breast 4 and a half years ago while she was on her honeymoon. Her entire married life was spent dealing with this disease. That's tough!

I was touched by many things that were shared on Saturday, but there is one thing in particular that has kept me thinking since then. Angie, newly married, eager to move into her role as wife and hopefully mother was given a new direction quite different from the one she thought she signed up for. Suddenly there was a war raging and she was on the front line. She accepted her new position, put on her armor and stepped into the fray. She fought the battle feircely, but not just for her own survival. While she was struggling for her own life, she remembered others who were also in the same war. She helped to raise 7 million dollars for inflammatory breast cancer research. Wow! Can I just say it again? Wow!

What kind of energy did Angie really have for that kind of task? Probably very little if any, and yet she still did it. I thought about how much time I waste on a daily basis. What could I be accomplishing? for others? for the Kingdom of God? One step further I have to ask myself a couple more questions. Do I even take very good care of the things God has already placed in my hands....my home, my belongings and more importantly, the people with whom I share this life? How am I using the time He has given me on this Earth? I don't know how many days I have yet to live, but I do know that while heaven is forever, my time here has a limitation. What will I do with it?

One of these things....

How many of you watched Sesame Street? Do you remember this song..."One of these things is not like the others, one of these things doesn't belong?......"

It's Quiet Here

It is quiet here.....I used to think that we Americans live with a lot of noise around us and we do, some I suppose more than others, but until I visited Japan, I didn't realize how relatively quiet it is here.

In one of my recent posts I talked about the Japanese use of "ma", which is quiet spaces in their speech. I'm not doubting that they do that and it may be their way of having some sort of privacy being that they live in such close promimity to one another. What I experienced there in the public world was a profusion of noise, however. I was completely overstimulated and often found myself stressed by the deluge of sound.

Whenever anyone entered a store they were greeted by everyone. You might hear "Irasshaimase!" countless times while shopping for just minutes in a small store. If you are in a larger department store, just imagine how many times it might float across your ear drums. We were in a large electronics store at one point. Every floor displaying a different type of product, for example, computers on one, music on another, cell phones on yet another. (Yes, there was a whole floor for cell phones. There must have been at least 5,000 different phones to choose from.) So if you stopped on each floor you would be greeted by maybe 20 salespersons, and then you would hear those same 20 greet the next 20 people or so that walked onto that floor. Add to that every TV or CD that was playing and you can get an idea for what I experienced.

On the street there was all the usual noise, plus every time a light changed there would be a chirping, bell ringing or song playing for the blind to hear. (I think this is a great idea, but it adds to the noise level.) In the subway and train stations, as well as on the subways, trains and buses, there are constant audio signals for each mode of transportation coming and going, then voices in at least two languages telling you every stop coming up.

I enjoy some quiet in my world. When I am home alone, the TV never comes on, and I only have music playing occasionally. It helps me to be able to think more clearly. Some days the only noise I hear is the phone ringing, conversation with the caller or my own playing of the piano. It's refreshing to be back in a relatively quiet world.

Timeless travel that feels like forever

I am home. I have that light-headed dizzy feeling that often accompanies time change travel. It was a bumpy ride home. We didn't get to upgrade our seats for the return trip, so we were back in coach the whole time. For the majority of the world, that isn't a big deal, but when your travel mate / husband is 6'7" it becomes an issue. He is sort of like origami on these flights, all folded up and he can't help it, but his space kind of slips into your space. That is difficult at best, but we also had a crying baby, an extremely loud snorer and air turbulence. I don't know for sure, but the turbulence could have been caused by the guy snoring. He was something to behold! Every breath he took in, all the air was sucked out of the compartment and then like a strong gale, he blew it back out again. No wonder the baby was crying. I wanted to cry, too.

We left Nagoya at 1:00 pm and landed in Detroit at 11 am, two hours before we left. It is kind of crazy when you think about it. We should feel like we got time back, but in actually I lost a whole night (of sleep, anyway). My last post mentioned how much I appreciate my bed. I think I'm headed that way now before my head floats off my shoulders. Okay, I know it won't really, it just feels that way.

It was a great trip, but it is also great to be back.....

I'm going home....

We are about to leave Japan. It has been a very interesting, educational and fun trip. I have so many thoughts to share when I get home. It will take days to weed through all my journal notes. Looking forward to high speed internet with all the symbols in familiar places on the keyboard. Can't wait to see the people I love, my cats and to play my Yamaha piano. One more thing.........I love my bed and greatly anticipate falling into it tonight. Ja, Mata!

A moment or two in Japan

Greetings from Nagoya, Japan! Last night we had dinner with Luke's Japanese parents. What a delightful night! They were precious and so very gracious! The meal they fixed us was oishi.....delicious!

I have been so touched that God's spirit resides here in this place where so few acknowledge Him. Look for more on that in blogs to come.

Konbonwa!

When In Japan

Went out for sushi......ate raw cuttlefish. Yum! Well, maybe not. It is really mostly chewy without a lot of flavor.

In Japan

It has been a crazy and interesting place to visit. I am unable to write much now because I am paying for this little bit of internet time. I will post upon return all kinds of interesting tibits. Gotta go now, there are so many things to do and see.

I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane.....

Eight hours from now, I will be getting in the car to head for the airport and then to Japan. It just feels odd. It wasn't one of the items on the list of "Things Deb might do someday", and yet here I go. I always knew that Luke would go to Japan. It was just in him, but I hadn't considered it for myself. Luke is there now, though and I want to see him there. I feel privileged to get to go visit him.

I am suffering from a large dose of melancholy in the moment, though. I tend to get sad when anyone leaves on an airplane, even if I'm the one leaving. I can't really think of a good reason for this other than I don't care much for good-byes and somehow boarding a plane seems more of a good-bye than other modes of transportation. Flying usually means you are going too far away to drive. Feels like a long good-bye to me.

I love to travel and see new places, but I also love to be home. I'm comfortable here. I mean that more emotionally than physically. Perhaps I should have said it is comforting to be home. When I am away I miss all the people I love. I miss my piano. I miss my cats. Honestly, I miss my bed. (Okay, so that one is a physical comfort.) Anyway, I'm all packed (finally) and I've sighed a hundred times this evening, yes, and even fought back a few tears. I think I'll go play the piano one more time before I leave.

It will be awhile before I post again. Hopefully though I will have some great stories of Luke and Japan. Sayounara!

Packing is for Rats or Rats! I have to pack!

I leave for Japan in 33 hours. I have found all kinds of ways to procrastinate packing for this trip. I'm not exactly sure why. Here I am again though, writing this blog instead of putting clothes in a suitcase. The truth is I am not fond of packing. I'm never quite sure what to take, or what I will be in the mood to wear or to do, so I tend to overpack. I'm determined not to overpack this time. Maybe that is why I'm putting the process off. Perhaps it is my backward way of overcoming overpacking. If I wait long enough, I won't have time to pack much. What do you think? Will it work?

I really am too tired to pack now, I think I will go to bed and read a little........................

Lead Me to Rest

The Japanese have a word for the empty spaces between words. It is called ma. In a sense there is a reading between the lines and deeper hidden meaning can be found in these quiet places. There is an atmosphere created by the words around these spaces that help interpret their significance.

In my piano lessons, my instructor reminds me of the importance of the rest. He tells me that in order to give a song it's greatest interpretation, I must give the rests their full value. The empty spaces give life to the notes played all around them.

My life is full, sometimes it is busy, too busy. There is a lot of stuff going on, a plethora of things to do, a whole bunch of people to be with, all kinds of needs to be met, both mine and everyone elses. There is noise, plenty of it! There are words, tons of words, so much talking!

God calls me to a quiet place of rest. He calls me to consider "ma"....empty spaces. It is there that I find the deeper meaning. He knows that it is in the silence that the rest of my living gathers its breath. I must give rest it's full value.

In the quiet place

Where His presence fills the space

I will find my rest

Wouldn't You Agree?

"Has it ever occured to you that 100 pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each other? They are of one accord by being tuned, not to each other, but to another standard to which each one must individually bow. So 100 worshipers meeting together, each one looking away to Christ, are in heart nearer to each other than they could possibly be were they to become 'unity' conscious and turn their eyes away from God to strive for closer fellowship...."---A. W. Tozer

Ever been in a church where there is a lot of talk about unity? Yeah, me too. I understand why we talk about it and even strive for it. God's word itself says in Romans 12:18 "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." There are many references to loving one another (John 13:34 and 35, Rom. 12:10, Rom. 13:8, Gal. 5:13, Eph 4:2, and so on) It is important or He would not ask us to do it. We just don't do it very well. Why is that?

We talk about it and maybe we even try sometimes, but most of us are so focused on what we want or what we think our neighbor thinks about us that is extremely difficult to stay unified for very long. So what do you suppose would happen if we took Mr. Tozer's advice? What if each individual stopped looking to themselves or to their neighbor down the row, stopped striving so hard for fellowship, stopped talking about it and all focused on Christ, the Standard? Would we not be in complete unity with our hearts joined in worship? What did Jesus himself say comes first?

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself. " Matt. 22:37-39

Order is key. We will never grow close to each other until we look to the One who is able to tune our hearts.

The music in me....

What does music do to you? It moves me. Can you imagine a movie without the backdrop of song? Sometimes I wish our lives had musical undergirdings and I think mine does, but it plays in my own head. (Of course, I have more songs in my head than the average person. I've even been given the title of "The Original iPod".) I suppose it would be annoying if all of our songs were playing simultaneously. Maybe though they would only interact with those with whom you were presently engaged or at least those who you acknowledge as being in your general realm of influence. It would be like a dance, a give and take in partnership. Perhaps it would sound like an orchestra with each person playing their part on their unique musical instrument.....entering and exiting at just the right time, blending, harmonizing, swelling, then suddenly softer, pausing, then back in......

Most of the time we live in such disharmony with one another, that our songs sound more like an orchestra tuning up, each one playing their own little song in their own little corner as loud as they possibly can so they can hear themselves and drown out the distraction of others. Why do we live like that? Playing the symphony together is so much more powerful than the chaos and randomness of the individual tune-up. The symphony, concerto or whatever particular movement or piece has moments of complete togetherness where all play in unison, the same notes, the same way. There are also times where the parts compliment one another. Living in complete harmony with one another there are times when we should be showcasing the other person, encouraging them to play their solo and play it well.

Sadly, I am also struck by the thought that there are those who can no longer discern the song within them. The music has completely gone out of their lives. If our lives did have a soundtrack, what would we hear when they walked into the room, into our general realm of influence? Silence? Would we hear their song even if their ears and heart have turned deaf to it? Are we willing to stop tuning our own instrument in our own little corner long enough to sing their song back to them? to help them remember? to help them pick up their instrument and play it once again?

I can't imagine my life without music.....I can't imagine yours without it either. Don't forget your song! I need to hear it!

Weaving

Today I was at the mall. I actually went to pick up some boxes from a store I work at occasionally. When I was leaving with the boxes I noticed a purse in the parking lot a few spaces down from my car. It would have been an easy steal for someone. I went back into the store and looked through the purse to see if I could find some information about who it belonged to and hopefully a phone number to call.

There were several charge cards, receipts, pictures of a baby, driver's license, a check book, and a bunch of other stuff, but absolutely nothing with a phone number on it, not even the checkbook. Her car keys were also in there. It felt so strange.....invasive, to go through this person's purse. I did want to return it, however, and knew of no other way to find the information I needed. Finally, I wrote down some information from her insurance card. I thought I will call her agent's office, give them her name and they can look up her information. I left the purse at the store and the manager, my friend, Leeanna, called security and asked them to pick it up. I called the insurance office and asked them to call the lost purse lady and tell her that her purse had been found and was at the mall security office.

I thought about how easy it would have been for someone to walk away with this purse without a second thought and how easy it would have been for someone to steal her identity. I would never have considered taking it and wouldn't have the guts to use the charge cards. I have no clue how to steal an identity, nor would I want to. I think that is a good thing. I did think for about a half a second about the Starbuck's card, though. Fair reward, don't you think? I'm kidding!

So why me? Why did I find it instead of someone else? Was a prayer being answered on her behalf? I have no clue and will never know the end of the story. I do believe this, though, our lives are never ever isolated. God weaves them together in mysterious ways. Sometimes we see the workings of the web, but many times I believe we don't have any idea that it is happening or that we are a part of it. I love that about God.

Waxing and Waning

I was wondering if any one feels the ebb and flow of life like I do. Do you sometimes get really enthusiastic for something and then your enthusiasm just kind of slips away? In my experience it can happen slowly over time, but it can also happen within the scope of a few days, sometimes within a day. Do I get bored easily or do I simply run out of energy?

Okay, that's it! I just lost my excitement over this topic and don't want to blog about it anymore. Just kidding really. I'd actually like to dialogue about it with others for awhile. Am I unique in this or do you feel the same thing?

Paralysis or Proper Perspective?

I had a meeting this morning. When I got in my car to leave it wouldn't start......odd. It is only a year old, so I wouldn't expect the battery to be dead. I did, however, go to the basement and search for our battery charger, which I couldn't find. (My husband says it is on the shelf next to work bench, but I didn't see it.) When I went back to the garage I realized that my keys would not come out of the ignition. They would move in the direction of starting the car, but not move back, nor come out. I tried to adjust the wheel. It had movement, it wasn't jammed. I tried to adjust the gear shift. It wouldn't move with any amount of wiggling or pounding. (I didn't kick it, though I thought about it.) Still the car won't start. It most likely is unrelated to the battery. I suppose my car "thinks" it is in gear, not park, and it has no inclination to start in that position.

My car has a certain perspective in the moment. Sometimes my perspective is off, too. In the midst of my circumstances, I can be absolutely convinced that a certain thing is happening. I may be paralyzed by that view and unable to get started and move in any direction. My outlook is confined by so many human limitations. My vision becomes much clearer when my focus changes from my circumstance to One who knows right where I am and where He is taking me. I am reminded of these words, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." (Is 55:8)

I made it to the meeting. Someone came to get me and brought me home. My car still sits in the garage. I had some errands to run, or so I thought. I could be very frustrated with this circumstance, or I can rest in knowing, His perspective is much greater than mine, even for this day.

Stuff for Sale!

Today I have been going through stuff, literally. My daughter wants to have a garage sale this weekend, so I need to purge the closests, cabinets, and other storage areas. You know how it is. It is work, but acually feels great to clean out the things that I simply am not using any more. I am not a hoarder, but I am certainly no minimalist. I could probably benefit from lessons in mimimalism. Is there such a thing?

Actually, I'm being a little hard on myself. I'm not one of those who have let things pile up and pile up. Nearly every time a charity calls and asks for a donation, I come up with at least a little box or bag I can put out for them. So I go through the stuff fairly regularly. I'm sure my daughter wishes she could sell all those things I have put out over the last couple of years.

I don't like having garage sales. It is a whole lot of work for a little return. I told Melaina (just like the last garage sale we had) that I would help her by finding things to sell and by setting up for the sale, but that it was her responsibility to work the sale. I don't even care if she keeps most of the proceeds. I was going to set it out for the charity truck anyway. I'd just like to cover the ad (which by-the-way cost a pretty penny these days). I also don't like the whole bargaining thing. I don't appreciate it when people ask less than the ridiculously low price the item already is. Melaina is so much better at this than I am. She kind of enjoys it. When I go to other peoples garage sales, which I actually like to do, I never ask them for a different price. If I don't want to pay what they are offering, I don't need it. Question is though, do I need it at all? It is someone else's discarded stuff for crying out loud!

I think it is kind of funny that we buy things that we think we need, use them for awhile or a little and then put them out in the garage or driveway to sell to other people. There has been an occasion or two when I have actually sold something I never took the tags off of. That is simply pathetic! Why didn't I just take it back to the store? (Probably because I also do not like returning things. I make myself do it, though, in most instances, okay?)

I wonder if God wants to go through the stuff of my heart. What were all the "things" I bought that I thought I needed that have just settled themselves in my being. Some of them still have the tags on, I'm sure. I thought I wanted it, even needed it, but it wasn't quite right. Still it is there, with all the other stuff, just taking up room, crowding out any space for what is truly needful.

In Luke, chapter 11, Jesus along with his disciples go to the home of Martha and Mary. Martha is busy running around doing, who knows maybe she was trying to get ready for a garage sale when they happened along and interrupted her day. When they sat down to talk, Mary sits at the feet of Jesus and takes in all He has to say. Martha is frustrated with Mary and longs for her help. She approaches Jesus with her complaint. Jesus responds to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried about and upset about many things, but few are needed--or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken from her."

Having things is okay and selling them at a garage sale is okay, too. Letting stuff (whether tangible or not) take our time or crowd our hearts, though, is not what is better. Few things are needed --or indeed only one. May you sit at His feet, allowing Him to fill both mind and heart.

The Cat Nap

Most of you think of a cat nap as just a little snooze somewhere in your day. I am assuming it got it's name from the fact that cats sleep a lot, especially during the day. My cat nap is just a little different. You might remember from an earlier blog "Sleepless" that I love to nap. There is something extra special about napping on a Sunday afternoon, too. Somehow it refreshes me for the week ahead. Oh, but back to the cat nap......

My cat nap actually includes a cat, sometimes two. We have two cats at this house. Simon is the elder. He is silver tabby and white and has a very cute pink nose. He is mine. Nobu Naga is the younger, all black cat. He is mine, also. Well, theoretically he is Luke's. Luke picked him out after having to get rid of a cat that was given to him. (Kiku was a wild, crazy kitten who did not understand the concept of the litter pan. Poor Kiku, as cute as she was, had to go be an outdoor kitty.) Anyway, Luke chose Nobu, but I have paid for his every need, and I believe that Nobu thinks he is mine.

Now that the cats are introduced, back to the nap. Sometimes I let Simon nap with me, especially if I only want a short nap. He wants to be too close. He prefers to have his little head near mine, snuggled into my right shoulder. Sometimes he makes a little whimper sound when he sleeps and often he decides he needs to bathe in the middle of the nap and the licking begins. It is just too much for me and disturbs my sleep. Nobu on the other hand, is the perfect napping companion. He settles in quickly right up against my left hip. When I adjust, he adjusts. He sleeps for good long stretches before needing to bathe. He is in the perfect spot for my hand to rest on him. When I stir and give him a little pat, sometimes leaving my hand on him, he just purrs up a storm. The vibration and the sound is very comforting (especially when it is not right in my face, as Simon likes to do).

There is no "moral of the story" or spiritual analogy regarding this blog. I could probably come up with one if I thought long and hard enough. Nope, just wanted to share what a true cat nap experience really looks like. On this Sunday afternoon, I had a two cat nap. Yep, one on my right shoulder and one on my left hip.

Riders of the Storm

I follow hurricanes. I don't know why. When I hear a storm is brewing, I keep my eye on it. I read the articles, I look at the pictures, I watch the videos regarding it. They facinate me somehow. They are powerful beasts! They swirl across the waters, sometimes more organized than others, gaining, than losing power to gain again. Man can do absolutely nothing against such a monster, except possibly predict where the greatest impact may be as it roars onto shore.

Hurricane Ike ran into the state of Texas early this morning. Only a catagory 2, but nearly 600 miles in diameter. That is about the size of the state itself. He had already raged through Haiti, Cuba and the surrounding islands wrecking havoc. (See my blog "An Ocean Away".) I am amazed at the people who try to stay and ride it out, especially after receiving stern warning to evacuate. What do they think they could possibly do against such a great storm? Can they keep the surge that runs ahead of the hurricane at bay (pun intended)? Can they push back walls of water 20 feet or more high? Can they hush winds of 100 or more miles an hour that howl around them, ripping homes and buildings to shreds?

I believe in a sovereign God, One who is Lord over all. I believe that He is sovereign, yes, over nature. I believe that He could say one word and that Ike would stop in his spinning tracks. Yet, I wonder how many times I stand with my hands on my hips and refuse to budge in His presence. Do I think I can hold back surges and "walls" of water that come into my life? Do I think I can quiet storms that rage around me? Why do I sometimes refuse to evacuate? refuse to leave my stuff behind? hold on to things? cling to the past or the present?..... when I should be dropping it as fast as I can and running into the arms of the only One who can calm the storm or carry me through? Do you do the same thing?

Many will have nothing as they return to their neighborhoods. Lord, they have had no choice but to lay their "stuff" down. Be their Provider. Help them cling to You.

Wasted Time?

Today I decided to work on a project I started awhile back. I needed to do two things. I had to rework a bed skirt so I could actually use it on my bed. A bed skirt usually has a large piece of material that goes under the box spring and then has fabric on three sides that hang to the floor (the skirt). My bed has slats across it supporting the box spring, so it won't allow the fabric to hang down. I cut the large section of fabric off and then finished the raw edge. Now I need to attach velcro to the skirt part and to my bed frame and just hang it along the sides. It makes sense and will work even if you can't picture it. The second thing I was doing was taking the extra fabric and making a long ring of fabric to put around the box spring. It would look so much better than just an exposed box spring. I spent quite a bit of time on it and was weary of sewing when another much better idea dawned on me. I could just purchase another sheet, flat or fitted would work and cover the box spring with that. I could even choose a variety of colors that would compliment my comforter and other bedding. It would be so simple and still look nice.

I was a little frustrated with myself for wasting so much time when I could have been doing something that was actually productive. Then I remembered that unlike those on the Texas and Louisana coast, I am not boarding up my home and heading for high country. Nor am I hunkering down to endure hurricane Ike. I just wasted a little of my time sewing something I really didn't need to. It's not a big deal! I won't waste the rest of my evening as I pray for those in the storm.

Get a Bang Out of This!

My kids used to watch a video about a robot named Colby. Colby is hanging out with a bunch of kids in a backyard and everyone is singing and playing and having a good time. Suddenly a bully enters the scene and Colby starts saying in a singsong way, "Intruder! Intruder! We have an intruder!" That is sort of how I felt as I was reading about the Large Hadron Collider. Read on.

"After 14 years of preparation, a new scientific wonder of the world opened for business Wednesday with the official startup of Europe's Large Hadron Collider.
The $10 billion particle accelerator is the biggest, most expensive science machine on earth, designed to probe mysteries ranging from dark matter and missing antimatter to the existence of extra, unseen dimensions in space."

"It’s a fantastic moment," Lyn Evans, the project leader for the Large Hadron Collider, said afterward. "We can now look forward to a new era of understanding about the origins and evolution of the universe.”

So what are we talking about here? Let's see if I can explain. Atoms are composed of electons, protons and neutrons, plus other particles. Protons, neutrons and the other particles are built up from fundamental constituents called quarks. Still with me? The particles built up from quarks are classified as hadrons. The LHC or Large Hadron Collider smashes hadrons together. The scientists believe (or at least have invested years of time and large amounts of money into it) that if they can smash hadrons together they can produce a "big bang" that will help them understand the origin of the world.

"So what will come out of those tiny, trillion-degree smash-ups? The LHC will look for exotic high-energy particles that supposedly came into existence just after the big bang---for example, the Higgs boson (which is thought to give other particles their mass) or supersymmetric particles (which may account for much of the universe's dark matter)."

Opponents of the project fear that the collider could actually cause microscopic black holes that would eventually gobble up the planet. Could be true science, could be science fiction. I have no idea. I guess I am more consumed by what they are trying to prove. Are they trying to prove that somehow "BOOM!", it just happened and God doesn't exist? Or deep down inside are they actually looking for a Creator? Will they find Him?

My prediction is this. They will actually see something so amazing that many of them will believe that the only explanation is a Creator OR that their whole mission will fail because God has chosen to protect the mystery.

For those who camp with the black whole theorists, take heart: the actual subatomic collisions aren't due to begin until next month. You have at least a month to get everything done you always wanted to do or as I see it, I am that much closer to being in the arms of Jesus, the One whom John, chapter 1 says this about:

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made: without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."

(Tan letters are quotes from MSN article.)

An Ocean Away....

I don't live by the ocean. There are a variety of reasons for that. I guess the most obvious is that I grew up in the midwest and the midwest has grown on me. I love the change of seasons and would miss that if I took up residence elsewhere. Beyond that, though, I love to visit the ocean and in fact we have our favorite place outside of Fort Myers, FL on a little island called Captiva. I wouldn't want to be without Captiva, for it calms my soul, however.....I have healthy respect for the ocean.

I love watching the water and hearing the waves lap the shore. I am awestruck by the glorious sunsets over the Gulf of Mexico, each evening seemingly from a different painter's pallette. I am amazed as I gaze out from my calm spot on the sandy beach and see storms out on the sea where lightning charges from the sky to touch the water. There is sweet pleasure in seeing the dolphins swim up and down the shore and frolic in the water. Who could ever express the wonder of seeing a nest of turtles burst from the sand and make their way into the mighty ocean? There are no words for that kind of stuff. I wouldn't want to do without any of these things and yet.....I don't want to live there.

The ocean is a powerful thing, to be respected at the very least. I tend to get a little uneasy when we are on the island and a storm blows in. Then there is the hurricane. I have been watching with saddened interest as the small, poor nation of Haiti gets battered and battered again. In some form of tropical storm to hurricance there has been Dolly, Fay, Gustav, Hannah and now Ike that have affected Haiti. The flooding is devastating. More than 600 people have died and 200,000 are without food, clean water and shelter, some of them for four days already. There has been no time between storms to recover and even if there was time, there isn't really any way.

The Haitians live with the ocean all around them. It is their home, just like the midwest is mine. Even if they wanted to most could not leave their island home. They are too poor. It is the poorest of countries. The ocean and the storms typical of warm ocean waters have their way with them. My heart is heavy for Haiti and it's people this day. God, give them respite from the storm. Send your people to help, including me, even though I feel an ocean away.