Ever pick up your journal and open to some random page to see where you've been? or maybe how far you have come? Sometimes you can see how a prayer is answered. You might find your self in the same, familiar situation, but looking back you realize that you are viewing it with a new perspective.
I opened mine today to Nov. 15, 2006. While I wouldn't share every page of my journal with you, I'll let you in on my life for that moment in time. This is what it says:
"Last week I was struggling with melancholy (again). I do not like the way it feels. I long to be joyful, contagiously so at all times, yet......
I asked for others to pray for me in the struggle. On one hand, I wanted relief, but through the struggle, I realize that what I really want is for it to serve some purpose in the Kingdom of God.
Is it to drive me into His arms? Is it to burden my heart to intercede on behalf of others? Is it to move me to act on their behalf? Is there something else in it that I have not discovered? I feel God is refining me, constantly moving me in baby steps toward the person He has designed me to become."
My present state is not one of melancholy, but I am keenly aware of what it feels like. I'm not sure if I have all the answers to the questions I asked myself that day, but my stride has increased. Whatever my mood I have been learning to see God more clearly in all areas of my life. Instead of reacting to circumstances I am responding to Him in the situation. I don't do this perfectly and I'm still being refined, but the path I'm walking is very good.
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